My First Major Failure

Thomas Edison wrote his quote " I have not failed, I have found 10,000 ways that don't work." I believe this is somewhat close. I believe this quote. I live by this quote. Sometimes it takes a long time for me to realize that I have not given up.

As a child of 7 years old I lived in a small town called Dumas, Texas. Some of you may know of this town. At that time, growing up there wasn't dangerous as our mothers and fathers let us run around in the neighborhood freewilled. Getting picked up by strangers was the least of our worries or our parents. In fact, most of the time parents were worried about the safety of the strangers coming into the neighborhood. That is another story altogether. Of course, we all know about throwing water balloons at moving cars right? The only dangers we had was the dangers we incurred upon ourselves.

This brings me to a point of my first major failure. I suppose you have read the papers or looked at the news or seen somewhere about Robert Blake! It reminds me of "Spankey and the Gang" if that is what it was called. Well, that is about what Dumas was like in my neighborhood. You could consider me the "Spanky". Kids all around would come to see what I was up to next. I was kind of a leader. I was just a dare devel. Actually, I just wanted to try different things. Venture out. Do things that I felt that I could do.

This is when I decided that I wanted to "FLY". If I hadn't told you before in any of my articles before, I will tell you now. My father was a carpenter. There was always some extra wood around the house. Boy, could I make stuff out of things there. I found some plywood. I can't remember how long it was. Some how, between Jimmy Hulsey and myself, we did figure out how to cut this stuff. We made some holes in each piece so we could tie these to my arms. I do remember the boards were kind of heavy but I figured the wind would take care of that once I was in the air.

Well, after making the two wings for my arms and climbing on the top of my fathers house, we figured that we may need to be as high as possible to get some altitude. We discussed this quite a bit. I never thought about getting hurt. If all else fails, I would at least float right? Running down that ridge was scarey. The closer I got to the edge my heart was pounding, and at that point just before I got to the edge I decided not to go, but the wind caught me and off I went and straight down. WUUff! Right into the dirt. That plywood jambed right into my back. Sprang ankles. I can't remember breaking my arms. Jimmy tells me I broke both of them. Shoot, I can only remember the fall. It was wild. Jimmy told everyone about that failure. Talk about a small town. The town got even smaller as the tale got larger. By the end of the week, I had been told that I broke both arms and neck. My failure grew bigger and bigger by the stories told around me. Then only thing I knew for sure then was the fact I was not going to do that again. That HURT!

HOWEVER. That day affected me. It haunted me. It gave me a sort of fear. I had a different meaning for the word "FALL". I hated it. I could not imagine "Falling" without getting hurt. That plywood pulled both my shoulders out of whack. I did not break both my arms. I did not ever break my arms. Those stories are just to drain people after you are down and out. 35 Years later, Jimmy is still laughing about it. Failure has a tendency to haunt you.

BS. I was going to try it again. This time I will go up in an airplane and jump. This will cure me of my fear. I will take care of this failure. I will "FLY".

You know, some things just don't turn out for some people. I did take a 3 hour course for learning how to parachute out of a plane. Yep. I was 250 lbs. I was to heavy to go up with another diver, jumper, parachuter or whatever you want to call them. So I had to go up alone. They told me that I had better be prepared to know what to do in case my chute gets twisted up. It may happen. Most of the time it won't. 1 out of 1000 times it will happen and if it does in your parachuting career, you may need to know how to undo it. I instantly thought, yeah right, I am to lucky for that. I did not pay much attention to that. I am only going to do this once so, I am not worried about those odds. Guess what?

FAILURE! You got it. Yep. Murphy's Law. Boy o Boy. I went up. Step out on the planes fender at 85 mph and hung on to the wing with an 95 lb parachute on my back. I let my feet go and hung there swinging in mid air above the ground 3900 feet looking down. Boy, what did I get into here. Things were to heavy to get back in the plane. The wind, the weight. I let go. I felt my self go upside down as I was falling FAST!

Not only did my chute get twisted up. I went completely upside down. Once the twisted chutes partially opened and I was able to start pulling it apart and kicking, I realized I was lost. I was headed towards the water. Oh, I could really make this whole thing into a book but I did not want to steer you away from my main point. I did get the parachute untwisted and I did have a walkie talkie on so the guy on the ground was able to lead me back to the spot where I was to land. I lived. I also landed on my "butt". Will I try it again? You bet!

It took me 35 years to discover that fear only does one thing to a person. It builds. It does nothing more. When I said I would "never" do something again, I should "not" have said it. I should have learned something there. Of course jumping off a house is kind of stupid but my point is the "NEVER".

Recently, I have turned things around. I jumped about 6 years ago and since then I haven't been challenged. I realize that if you set your mind to something, you can do it. If you really want to be rich, you can be. If you are going to listen to everyone else then no, you will not be rich. I did not listen to anyone when I decided to go fix my fear. I went for it.

Sometimes being Bull Headed is the only way to be. Have you ever realized that most of your rich people usually succeed alone. They soar alone. They quit listening to their peers. They break away. They also quit talking about what they are doing. They just do it.

Now Go Do It.
What do you want to do?

Here is what I learned from all of this. Failure should only be used in a mechanical sense. It doesn't apply to humans.

If you learn from something how can you possibly fail. I learned that first jump hurt like hell.

By Randall Stafford

Dare to Dream Again

Do you remember when you were a child and no dream seemed too big? Some of us thought we would walk on the moon; some dreamed of riding with Roy Rogers; others imagined stepping to the plate in a big-league game. Every one of us, when we were young, had a common trait - we were dreamers. The world hadn't gotten to us yet to show us that we couldn't possibly achieve what our hearts longed for. And we were yet still years from realizing that in some cases we weren't built for achieving our dream (I realized about my junior year of high school that I was too short and to slow to play professional basketball. The dreamer is always the last to know).

Eventually we started to let our dreams die. People began to tell us that we couldn't do the things we wanted. It was impossible. Responsible people don't pursue their dreams. Settle down, get a job, be dependable. Take care of business, live the mundane, be content.

Do you know what I say to that? Hooey!

It is time to dream again!

Why? Here are just a few reasons:

Avoiding regret. The facts are in, and someday we will all lie on our deathbed looking back through the history of our lives. We will undoubtedly think about what we wished we had done or accomplished. I for one don't want to regret what could have been, what should have been. So I am deciding today to pursue my dreams.

* Making the world a better place. All of the great accomplishments that have ever happened began with a person who had a dream. Somebody rebuffed the naysayers and said to himself or herself, "This can be done, and I am the one who will do it." And in many instances they changed the world for the better. It isn't just the Martin Luther King's and the J.F.K's either. Think of all the people we have never heard of who have started things large and small that help people world-wide every day.

* The world needs people like you to dream of something great and then to pursue it will all of your heart. Maybe you belong to a business, school, or organization that started out with good intentions but has settled into the same ol' same ol'. Shake them up and remind them of how they could really help people if only they would dream!

* Personal and family fulfillment. One of the things that happens when we stop pursuing our dreams is that a little piece of us dies and we become disheartened, if only in that area of our lives. Stepping up and pursuing your dream rekindles that passion and zeal that everyone has the capacity for and lets us experience fulfillment. Having a purpose puts the zip in our step and the zing in our emotions!

* Leaving a legacy. How will your children remember you? As one who sought all that life had to offer, using your gifts and talents to their fullest extent, leading the family with a zest for life, or as an overweight couch potato who could have been? Our children need to see that we dream; that we search for something better. They in turn will do the same!

So where do we start? Here are some ideas:

* Reconnect with your dream. Set aside some time to let yourself dream. What have you placed on the backburner in order to live the status quo? Settle on one or two dreams that you can and will pursue. Don't come up with too many. That will only deter you further.

* Decide that you will do it. This may seem elementary but many people never decide and commit fully to their dream. They simply keep "thinking" about it. Tell others that you are going to do it. This puts you on the record as to what you are dreaming about. It makes you accountable. It will help you do it if for no other reason than to avoid embarrassment!

* Develop a step-by-step plan. This is absolutely essential. You must sit down and write out a few things:

* A timeline. How long will it take to the end?

* Action steps. Point-by-point what you will do and when you will do them.

* Resources you will need to draw from. What will it take? Who will need to be involved for help or advice?

* An evaluation tool. You need to evaluate from time to time whether you are progressing or not.

* A celebration. Yep, when you are done you should already have planned what you will do to celebrate. Make it big!

I have found that there is no better time than now. So, set aside some time today to get started on your dream. Follow the action plan and set your sights for the top of the mountain! You will be glad you did!


By Chris Widener

Winning: Defining It - Achieving It

If you ask most people whether they would like to be considered a winner or a loser in life, they would most assuredly reply that they would like to be a winner. But this begs the question, "What does it mean to win at life?" In some things it's easy to define a clear winner. In a basketball game, whoever has the most points at the end of the game is the winner. In a game of hearts, my favorite card game, whoever has the least amount of points when one of the players reaches 100 points is the winner.

But it isn't quite as easy to decide what it means to win in the game of life, is it? And that is because people define winning in different ways. For many, winning is through the accumulation of money or material possessions. "He's a success, a real winner," they say. Others think winning means living the longest. Still others say that it is to have their body in tip-top shape. Some say it is to have a happy family. Some say it is to regularly enjoy their hobbies.

All of these are fine, in and of themselves. But...

I would like to encourage us to think about winning or success in a different way. Generally, people think of winning as the over-achievement in a particular, chosen area. I like to believe, however, that to truly win at life is not to overachieve in one area but to succeed in maintaining balanced achievement in numerous areas.

Let me repeat that: To truly win, to be a success, is not to overachieve in one area, but to maintain balanced achievement in all areas of our lives.

For instance, is a person of success if they earn millions of dollars but lose their family? Is a person a success if they garner national fame but have no friends? Of course not. In fact, they may live the most pitiful of all lives.

First, Define

So the first thing we must do is define what we will consider "winning in life." As you ponder this for yourself, I would like to recommend that you focus in on three overarching areas: Body, Soul, and Spirit. The body is that which has actual connection with the physical world and would encompass physical health, financial health, family, work, and relationships.

How is your health? How are your finances? Are your relationships, both with your family and others all that they could be? Is work fulfilling? How would you define winning in these areas?

The next area, the soul, is that which deals with the emotions, will, and intellect. It is our thoughts, ideas, and attitudes. How are you emotionally? Are you able to exercise your will? Are you growing intellectually? Have you done an attitude check lately? How would you define winning in these areas?

And the spirit is the part of us that transcends this life, the part of us that communes with God. Zig Zigler said, "Money will buy me a house, but not a home, a bed, but not a good night's sleep." So true. Inner peace comes from something much deeper. Have you thought about going back to your spiritual roots? Are you able to spend time in quiet, solitude, and prayer from time to time? This is an extremely important area and all too often neglected. What would you like to achieve in this area? How would you define winning in these areas?

As we experience balance in these areas, we will find ourselves much more at peace with ourselves than if we were to experience tremendous success in one area but loss or failure in the other areas. We were designed to work as congruent, balanced people. This is how we get to the end of our lives and say, "I won."

Second, Prioritize

Once you have defined what it is that you would like to achieve in each of these areas, you have to prioritize them, and let other, non-important areas drop off the chart. Commit to developing a plan to succeed in a balance of areas. Exercise your will. Choose. Dwight D. Eisenhower said that "The history of free men is written not by chance, but by choice - their choice."

When we manage our time and schedule, we are simply making choices in regard to our priorities. For most, their priority is to take action on whatever is screaming the loudest at the moment. For those who become winners, they reflect on what they desire to achieve, make a plan and decide to eliminate the rest.

Last, Do it

Okay, you have defined winning. You have prioritized your life. Now, the hard part: Doing it. This is where we are all alone. We all make this step on our own, but having a written plan is as good a preparation as you can get. Rather than saying that you are going to do this for the rest of your life, take the next week to implement your new balance of winning. If a week sounds too long, just focus on today. Spend some time, be it ever so small, enhancing your life in these areas. Exercise a little. Read for a while to challenge your mind. Deal with your emotions. Spend time in silent contemplation to renew your spirit. Give some time to your spouse and children. Will Rogers said, "Even if you're on the right track, you won't get anywhere if you're standing still." There has got to be action.

As we do this over time, and balance our lives out, we will begin to finally feel like we are winning at life. That will be exciting, as will the process!



By Chris Widener

A Little Equation that Creates Big Results

The purpose of man is in action not thought - Thomas Carlyle

Often people will ask me how I get so much done in my life. They wonder at how I am able to accomplish so many things. The answer is found not in what a great person I am, but in an equation I came up with a few years ago and remind myself of on almost a daily basis. And when I live this equation out, it produces big results. What people don't seem to grasp is that this equation will work for anybody! Anyone can see results in their life if they will live it out!

This little equation, when it is understood, and acted upon, is perhaps the most powerful equation there is in regard to long-term achievement and accomplishment. Yet, this is not a complex equation. In fact, it is rather simple. So what is it?

Your short-term actions multiplied by time equals your long-term accomplishments.

If you want to see change in your life, see big results, the first thing you must do is change your current actions. Otherwise the old saying becomes a reality: "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you always got!" But if we change our actions, we will see different results!

Most people want to accomplish a lot in their lives. Yet very few actually do. Why is this? It is because what they believe will equal their long-term accomplishments are wrong. Here are some of the things that people believe will create great accomplishments for them:

Beliefs
Vision
Big dreams
Ideas
Idealsv Values
Desire

The truth is that while these things are very important, they are not enough in and of themselves. We need to have the above underlying all that we do, but we need to actually do something! And this is where most people stop. We need to take action on our dreams and beliefs every day.

Here are some examples of how this works.

Who loses weight? The one who knows all about the benefits of exercise or the one who walks 3 miles a day?

Who retires early? The one who dreams of a house on the beach, or the one who invests $300 a month?

Who writes books? The one who desires to become a best-selling author, or the one who gets up early and writes for half an hour a day?

Who has the best marital relationship? The one who knows how much spending time with their spouse can improve their relationship, or the one who sits down and talks with their spouse every night?

Who makes the most sales? The one who believes they can become a great salesperson, or the one who makes 10 sales calls a day?

I think you get the point. When it all comes down to it, we must act upon our vision, beliefs, and ideals or we won't see them come to fruition. I see too many people who know what is right, but don't ever do anything about it. Imagine what a difference we could make in our own lives and the lives of others if we would simply begin to act upon on our beliefs!

When I get to the end of my life, I want to know that I have done all that I can to make this world a better place and to enhance the lives of those around me. I want to know that I gave it my best shot. And I am sure that you do to.

I remember reading an interview with an author who has written numerous books that have sold in the tens of millions. They asked him how he did it. His answer was that he got up every morning before anyone else in his family and wrote, long hand, with a pencil, for an hour. Then he quit and went about his day. But his short-term actions piled up. 7 hours a week. 30 hours a month. 365 hours a year. After a while, he had lots of books!

Some questions as we leave:

What long-term accomplishments do you want to see come to pass?

What short-term actions will you need to do over time to see them come to pass?

What will you do today to begin seeing your dreams come true?

What will you do this week to see them come true?

You can have an awesome future, filled with great achievements and results if you begin today to take action and make it a reality!

One more time, so you can plug it in, memorize it, and live it.

Your short-term actions multiplied by time equals your long-term accomplishments.



By Chris Widener

The Opportunity Clock

When I was in college, I heard someone say something that has been with me ever since. It was something that demonstrated to me a positive attitude and the choice to take something that most people dread, and change it into a motivating factor.

He called the alarm clock the "opportunity clock."

When does an alarm go off? When something bad is happening! Well, waking up isn't bad. Waking up is good! In fact, waking up is an opportunity. Each new day brings with it the opportunity to enjoy our families and other people. It enables us the opportunity to work hard, and earn a living that will enable us in turn to provide for others and ourselves.

Each day brings us the opportunity to help others and serve them in such a way to make our communities better places. We get the opportunity again to dream and achieve those dreams. We have the opportunity to bask in the glory at the top of the mountain or learn valuable lessons as we walk through the valley. What opportunities!

It's all in the perspective and attitude folks. I bet you can't wait to go to bed tonight and set your opportunity clock for tomorrow morning!



By Chris Widener

The #1 Way to Control Your Mind for Success!

People say: "One can't help one's thoughts." But one can. The control of the thinking machine is perfectly possible. And since nothing whatever happens to us outside our own brain; since nothing hurts us or gives us pleasure except within the brain, the supreme importance of being able to control what goes on in that mysterious brain is patent. This idea is one of the oldest platitudes, but it is a platitude whose profound truth and urgency most people live and die without realising. People complain of the lack of power to concentrate, not witting that they may acquire the power, if they choose.

And without the power to concentrate; that is to say, without the power to dictate to the brain its task and to ensure obedience; true life is impossible. Mind control is the first element of a full existence.

Hence, it seems to me, the first business of the day should be to put the mind through its paces. You look after your body, inside and out; you run grave danger in hacking hairs off your skin; you employ a whole army of individuals, to enable you to bribe your stomach into decent behaviour. Why not devote a little attention to the far more delicate machinery of the mind, especially as you will require no extraneous aid? It is for this portion of the art and craft of living that I have reserved the time from the moment of quitting your door to the moment of arriving at your office.

"What? I am to cultivate my mind in the street, at the office, in the bus, and in the crowded street again?" Precisely. Nothing simpler! No tools required! Not even a book. Nevertheless, the affair is not easy.

When you leave your house, concentrate your mind on a subject (no matter what, to begin with). You will not have gone ten yards before your mind has skipped away under your very eyes and is larking round the corner with another subject.

Bring it back by the scruff of the neck. There you have reached the station you will have brought it back about forty times. Do not despair. Continue. Keep it up. You will succeed. You cannot by any chance fail if you persevere. It is idle to pretend that your mind is incapable of concentration. Do you not remember that morning when you received a disquieting letter which demanded a very carefully worded answer? How you kept your mind steadily on the subject of the answer, without a second's intermission, until you reached your office; whereupon you instantly sat down and wrote the answer? That was a case in which "you" were focused by circumstances to such a degree of vitality that you were able to dominate your mind like a tyrant. You would have no trifling. You insisted that its work should be done, and its work was done.

By the regular practice of concentration (as to which there is no secret; save the secret of perseverance) you can tyrannise over your mind (which is not the highest part of "you") every hour of the day, and in no matter what place. The exercise is a very convenient one. If you got into your morning bus with a pair of dumbbells for your muscles or an encyclopaedia in ten volumes for your learning, you would probably excite remarks. But as you walk in the street, or sit in the corner of the compartment behind a pipe, or "strap-hang" on the Subterranean, who is to know that you are engaged in the most important of daily acts? Who can laugh at you?

I do not care what you concentrate on, so long as you concentrate. It is the mere disciplining of the thinking machine that counts. But still, you may as well kill two birds with one stone, and concentrate on something useful. Something that you like and are passionate about.

I wish you the best of luck in the control of your mind. ( Which by the way I don't belive in, I believe in self-effort, not luck!). Persevere and be patient, you will succeed!

**Attn Ezine Editors / Site Owners** Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine or on your site so long as you leave all links in place.


By Carl Cholette

Effective Strategies for Stopping Procrastination

You will have the greatest success if you read the first newsletter and take some time to observe your own procrastination patterns. Once you have accomplished that, choose a few of the strategies outlined here. Keep working at it until you understand what you need to do to stop putting things off.

Set Specific Goals

The most effective goals are specific, measurable, and achievable. An example of a good goal is, "I will buy paint on Friday and paint the living room on Saturday." This is better than saying, "I am going to get the house ready to sell."

Set Priorities

Write down all the things that you need to do, and place them in order of importance. The most important tasks belong at the top of your list and the distractions go at the bottom. Start at the top of your list and work your way down.

Organize Your Work

Set up a system for yourself. Prepare a daily schedule and keep it within view during your working time. List the tasks for each day. Check things off as you complete them. When you are working on a project, lay out all of the needed supplies or materials before you begin.

Divide and Conquer

Sometimes a project is overwhelming if you think about all of the work that is involved. Do yourself a favor: Break the activity down into smaller steps and set progress goals for each of the steps. This is especially helpful when you are beginning a writing project, studying for a degree, or building a new set of skills. For example, if you need to write a report, make an outline before you start writing. If you have to clean your house, make your goal to do the first two rooms by 10:00, two more by noon, and two more by 2:00. Check tasks off your outline as you complete them.

Make It a Game

Turn the temptation to avoid working into a challenge. Use your imagination. For example, if you need to study the first five chapters of your history book, pretend that you are a substitute teacher and will need to lecture on the material tomorrow. Take notes and organize the information into an outline that you could speak from. Sometimes changing the frame around a situation makes it more interesting and less of a chore.

Schedule a Small Amount of Time

Tell yourself that you will only spend ten minutes on the task right now, just to get your feet wet. Work on the task for the ten minutes and then choose whether to continue for ten more minutes. Continue doing this until you decide to stop, or when you are finished with the task. If you stop working on the task before it is finished, spend a few more minutes to plan a strategy for the next steps.

When you are tempted to substitute a fun but unimportant activity (such as reading a magazine or watching the weather channel) for an important project (such as finishing pages of your report), make the substitute activity your reward for doing the important task. Do the high-priority job first and reward yourself with the fun activity.

Ward Off Self-Defeating Thoughts

Telling yourself that you are going to do a poor job or even fail can seriously undermine your ability to function. It is important to realize that your negative statements are not facts. Keep your focus on the present moment and the positive steps you can take toward accomplishing your goals. If these thoughts are based on a need for perfection or low self-esteem (described in the "Managing Perfectionism" newsletter), you may want to work on these issues.

Make a Commitment

Make a verbal and written commitment to completing the task or project. Write a contract and sign it. Tell someone about your plans and ask them to follow up with you.

One trainer wanted to create a how-to workbook and market it to other training professionals. After weeks of procrastination, she decided to motivate herself by creating a deadline. She wrote an ad for the workbook and placed it in the professional publication that she knew her colleagues would be reading. When her telephone began to ring with orders for the workbook, she suddenly became very focused.

Remind Yourself

Write notes to yourself and post them in conspicuous places. Leave them where you will see them-on places like the outside of your briefcase, the bathroom mirror, refrigerator, television, your front door, and the dashboard of your car. The more often you remind yourself of what you plan to accomplish, the more likely it is that you will follow through with action.

Reward Yourself

Reinforcement is a very effective way to motivate yourself. When you complete even the most minor task, be sure to acknowledge what you have done. This is especially important in the beginning when you are struggling with procrastination behaviors. After you have mastered these issues and have regained your peak productivity, don't forget to celebrate the completion of the big projects. You worked hard for it and shouldn't take it for granted.

By Garrett Coan

Thoughts on Successful People

I was hired to do some training for a sales team from one of the largest companies in America. There were 16 people on this team. This year their sales (for the 16 of them) will be 250 million - that's right, a quarter of a billion - dollars! Needless to say, it was an excellent and fascinating time. I decided to learn a little bit myself so I watched them closely to see what kind of people they were and to see what common denominators they shared. Below is what I found. I think you will find the elements applicable to your own life.

The first thing I noticed about this successful sales team was that they had a sense of humor! They simply weren't a terribly serious bunch of people. Instead, they saw that life was to be enjoyed and that means they were able to laugh a little bit. Sure, there were varying levels in this but they all had a sense of humor. They were able to laugh at circumstances, and they were able to laugh at themselves. It was quite refreshing and a core element of their success, I'm sure.

The second thing I found out about this group was that they did not achieve their success through pedigree, but through hard work. They didn't come from families that gave them a free pass into the upper echelon of the corporate world and they didn't get a head start from upper crust universities. What got them to where they are now? Hard work! That's right, another example that if you put your mind to it, work hard and get in the right situation, you can achieve great things! These folks work long hours and are disciplined in the work they do. And it is paying off.

The third thing I noticed about this team is that they are learners. They were always engaged in the learning process. During my sessions they were engaged and listening. You could see their minds processing the information. They were asking questions and applying the material to their work and their lives. They wanted to improve in any way that they could. It was also interesting to watch them in their team meetings led by their sales manager. They were very interactive and were learning from one another. None of them was above learning from a peer.

What did I see in these successful people? The same things that can make you a success as you apply the principles to your own life: A sense of humor, hard work, and a desire to learn at every turn.


By Chris Widener

Unlock Your Potential Through Self-Awareness

Signs of Discontent
You don't need a degree in psychology to know when you're off-track, but sometimes it creeps up on you. It can seem like you wake up one day and realize that things are not right. These are a few of the signs:
? You don't want to get out of bed.
? You have a hard time motivating yourself to do routine tasks.
? You have doubts about yourself.
? You feel mildly depressed for days at a time.
? You sometimes overeat and/or use alcohol and drugs to feel better or escape.
? You often feel chronically tired, deenergized, and listless.
? You worry about how you will keep things together.
? You feel bored or restless.
? You wish you were somewhere else.
? You often have headaches, stomach upset, and other body aches and pains.
? You sleep too little or too much.
? You have frequent bad dreams or nightmares.
? You oversleep.
? You complain and nag.
Feeling dissatisfied with your life is not a pleasant experience, but it can lead you in a positive direction. These feelings may be important because they are telling you that your actions are out of synch with your values, goals, or talents.
Rediscover What Is Important to You
Imagine that your life is handed back to you and you are able to do anything you want. What is important to you? What values will direct you? Consider each word on the following list individually. It is not necessary to force-rank them or compare them against each other. Assign a rating to each word:
1 = Critically important to me
2 = Important to me
3 = I can live without it
Acceptance by others
Accomplishment
Activity
Admiration
Appreciation
Authority
Beauty
Being liked
Being well-paid
Calm
Casualness
Certainty
Challenge
Choice
Comfort
Community service
Competition
Creativity
Enjoyment
Ethics
Excellence
Excitement
Fame
Financial security
Fitness
Flexibility
Fortune
Freedom
Fulfilling my potential
Fun
Growth
Harmony
Health
Helping others
Honesty
Independence
Informality
Leisure
Making a difference
Mastery
Morality
Nature
Novelty
Originality
Peace
Personal development
Pets
Pleasure
Popularity
Power
Prestige
Privacy
Prosperity
Quality
Recognition
Relaxation
Respect
Risk
Solitude
Spirituality
Stability
Status
Stimulation
Surprise
Time for friends
Time for my family
Uniqueness
Variety
Wealth
Wisdom
Now make a list that summarizes your most important values. If you think of something that isn't listed, feel free to add it. The final part of this process (and this is a very streamlined version of what is possible) is to compare how you are currently spending your time with your list of most important values. How well do they match each other? What clues can you find that will help you find more satisfaction in your life?
Things that don't match:
What I can do about it:

By Garrett Coan

Keeping Your Mind Tuned for Success

Absolutely no one can underestimate the power of the mind and its role in our success! It is imperative to keep our minds right and on the right track if we are to achieve balanced success in our career, finances, health, emotions, relationships and spiritual lives.

The analogy I would like to use here is one of a radio station. For example, there may be a "Success" station. But the only way you can hear a radio station is to be tuned into it. Even a little off and you can't get the full effect. The same is true with our mind and success. If our minds and our thoughts get sidetracked, our success will get sidetracked. As our minds stay tuned to "success" our bodies will then carry out our success and we will begin to experience abundance!

So here are some ways to keep tuned into success!

Use your innate ability to decide and choose. One of the things that separates us from the animals is that we live not by instinct, but by choice. Constantly flexing that muscle of choice builds it up and keeps us on track for success. It is like working out. They more we do, the stronger we get. The more "fit" we get. Want to keep your mind tuned for success? Keep it healthy by making good choices and decisions on a regular basis. For example, do you have a bad habit? Then flex your mind muscle and choose to change - today. If you choose to stay the same way (and those are the only two alternatives) you will have just chosen to tune your mind to a different station than "success."

Put good stuff into your brain. There are lots of things that want to work their way into our minds (and eventually work themselves out again in our actions). There will be lots that we just get from walking around all day. But what about what we put in on purpose? We can choose to put good stuff in on a regular basis. Do you take time each day to put good things into your mind, to tune into success? Here are two things to consider when you are choosing what to put into your mind: First, is it positive? Will it build you up or tear you down? Will it make you a better person, or lesser? Will you grow from it or not? Will it tune you to success or not? Secondly, Will it move you toward your goals in the areas of your life that you want to see success and abundance in?

Keep the junk out. Like I mentioned above, there will always be junk floating around, like a fellow employee who gripes all the time. But what surprises me is how many people who want success, actually willfully choose to put junk into their minds and then expect to be tuned into success. Here are some thoughts on this: First, evaluate everything that you put into your mind. Evaluate what you read, listen to and watch. We live in a fast-paced world and we have little time. Why then would we spend our precious time putting junk into our minds? Does what you read, listen to and watch move you toward your goals or away from them? It is a simple question, really. At least most of the time. And here is my soapbox. Eleven years ago, my wife suggested we give away our television. I was shocked to say the least, but decided to give it a try. Now I am the anti-tv fanatic in our house! I have more time than anyone I know and I don't have to spend a lot of energy filtering my mind to tune it to success. Just a thought. Just a thought.

Eat right and exercise. That's right. The way we eat and the amount of exercise we get goes a long way toward our mind's ability to tune into success. Put the right foods into your body and the brain responds. Exercise on a regular basis and the body releases chemicals that literally ignite your brain for success!

Hope these thoughts help you to get going and keep your mind tuned into success. Put them into practice and soon you'll be dialed into success and abundance.


By Chris Widener

True Success is Generous

"Write checks on a regular basis to those who you want to bless, not those who you owe. Be generous. If you are thinking of one amount, raise it a bit. They'll be glad now. You'll be glad now and later." Chris Widener in the ABC's of Success.

There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who allow their abundance to pile up and bring them a sense of (false) security, and those who use their abundance to increase not only the joy in their lives but also in the lives of others by being generous.

I believe that the truly successful, those who will change the lives of others and leave a legacy, are the ones who are generous with their abundance. So how do we become generous people? Here are some thoughts.

First, get over your idea that money will bring you security. It won't. It might make you feel more secure, and it might enable you to purchase things right now, but all money can disappear quite easily. Markets go south, businesses go bankrupt, and fortunes are lost. History is filled with poor people who were once rich and lost it all. This idea that we can and have to keep it all is one of the greatest myths around. So when we give money away, it doesn't effect us emotionally, bringing out a fear of lost security.

Second, focus on the joy you bring to others when you are generous. I love to be the one to buy something for someone who would enjoy it, to help someone who needs it, or to encourage someone who would be helped by my generosity. There are always people and organizations who will benefit from our generosity and who will be overjoyed by it. And in turn, they will help others.

Third, make giving a planned and methodical task. I write out checks at the beginning of every month to people and organizations that I believe are helping others. I don't owe them this money, I choose to give it to them. It is something I believe in. Every month without fail I write those checks. It keeps me on track and keeps them encouraged, motivated, and moving in the right direction.

As for methodical, remember that over time, even small gifts add up. Maybe you can't afford to give or help with $300 today, but you could with $25 a month for a year. There is no way that my wife and I could afford to give a million dollars away at this stage of our lives, but our goal is to do that before we die. And I believe we will hit that because we are pursuing it methodically every month. And when we get to the end of our lives, we will be able to look back at our generosity and see that we made a difference. But you can't achieve those kinds of goals if you don't start somewhere and stick to a plan.

Fourth, make your generosity spontaneous. Now this takes a lot of self-awareness because I am not suggesting that you get yourself in financial trouble by being foolish, but here it is: Be the generous one of the group. Pick up the check for you friends and others. I have found that if you are wise with your money you won't get yourself into trouble by being the generous one. Picking up lunch won't break the bank. Offer to do nice things for your friends, relatives and co-workers. And then watch your relationships blossom!

Fifth, understand the principle that you reap what you sow. I truly believe that those who are generous, who help others, will always receive back what they need. I live by the principle of John Wesley, "Earn all you can, give all you can, save all you can." This principle brings our finances into perfect tension. Yes we earn, and all that we can, but we also go at our saving and giving with the same kind of gusto! And what happens, but that we are given more to turn around and be generous with again.

Lastly, and this is key for successful people. Never allow there to be strings with your generosity. Do not expect anything in return. That is not generosity but manipulation. Pure generosity is its own reward.

How to start today?

If you aren't currently on a plan of giving, choose a charitable organization you believe in and write them a check - today. And then write that same check on the first of every month.

If you are currently being generous with your resources, seriously consider an increase! Even a percentage or two will help you and them. It will stretch you and encourage them!

Be a Success! Be Generous!


By Chris Widener

Vision -- What Are You Doing Today Towards Achieving Your Vision?

Every man who accomplishes things sees first in his mind what he wishes to do. He puts away all doubt. It makes no difference how small or how large the thing you want to do may be; if you have an unlimited confidence in your ability to do it, you will do it. - Charles Fillmore
By definition, vision is a future orientation, a broad stroke picture that serves as the basis for making decisions or taking actions towards achieving the vision. In order for a vision to become a reality, there are certain elements that must be present.
Most importantly, the vision must be anchored in truth. If there is no or little truth, the vision will not be obtainable. For example: If a client says that she wants to be an opera singer despite the fact that she truly can't sing-can't carry a tune, has no pitch, etc. it's not impossible for her to achieve some level of singing ability with singing lessons. However, the struggle and the reality is so far fetched, that it really doesn't make sense to have this as an aspiration.
Accordingly, it would be important to find out just what she would hope to gain or could expect her life to be like as an opera singer. Upon investigation and exploration, it would be discovered that she loves to be on stage, get attention, and perform in some way. Those qualities can be used in many ways besides being an opera singer - and surely would be anchored more in truth.
It is also important that the vision is aligned with your purpose in life. If she wants to make this world a better place by sharing her talents and gifts, then singing would probably not be a wise choice. On the other hand, if she chooses some form of teaching and reaching many people so that she is sharing her ideas and wisdom, she's probably aligned with her purpose. Perhaps some form of public speaking might be more appropriate.
A vision must be exciting and compelling. If not, there is no incentive to take steps towards making it happen. If she chose to have a vision of becoming a nurse and caring for sick people when in fact, she doesn't particularly enjoy being around sick people, it's not going to pull her forward to wanting it to become a reality. In fact, there will most likely be lots of struggle and sabotaging along the way. Could it be a possible vision with truth? "Yes, but..." She could learn nursing and she could care for sick people, and it does align with her vision of sharing talents and gifts, BUT for her, it's not exciting or compelling. Therefore, the chances of her finishing the necessary course work aren't great and even if she did, it would feel more like drudgery.
So in creating a vision, it's important to think about what experience you would like to have. It would be helpful to notice and check if it's anchored in truth - for you. Does it align with your purpose? Is it compelling and exciting to you? Could it pull you forward and be an incentive and is it motivating you to wanting to take steps towards it?
Invitation to Experiment: Create a vision for your life. Include the type of experiences you want to have - include ALL of the elements possible: such as where you will be living, how you will be living, with whom, what type of work you'll be doing, etc. Don't leave anything out from your dream. Once it's crafted, look at the truth in it. Does it align with your truth? Look at your purpose for being on the planet. Does it align with your purpose? And lastly, is it exciting and compelling? Could it motivate and inspire you to take steps to move towards it? If so, take your first step, and then the next. It may at first seem like a pipe dream, but if it's aligned and compelling enough, it can become reality. You may modify your vision along the way, but all the while, you are moving towards a life that truly fits who you are and what you want.
Marion Franklin - is a Professional Certified Life Coach who coaches individuals and groups regarding personal and professional change, focus, human relations, and conflict management. Marion has coached managers at major corporations including PepsiCo, Toys'R'Us, and Reader's Digest. She conducts and help clients design workshops and presentations, has been a featured presenter at meetings, retreats, and an ongoing Women's Workshop Series, has been cited in The Journal News and The Wall Street Journal, and has appeared on local Cable Television.